We’d all like to be in relationships that are healthy, but most of us have no idea what that means. The key to success is being open and taking initiative.
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Spend quality time with your partner
Looking and listening to each other are the two things that make you fall in love. As long as you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, the falling in love experience can be maintained. It is likely that you have fond memories of when you first started dating your significant other. Everything was brand new and exciting, and you and your friends probably spent a lot of time talking and coming up with new ideas. Time spent together becomes more difficult to come by as the pressures of work, family life, and other commitments mount and our need for solitude grows.
As time goes on, many couples find that their early dating days have been replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. Face-to-face communication, on the other hand, has a positive effect on your brain and nervous system that digital communication does not. I love you” texts and phone calls are great but if you don’t look at or sit down with your partner, they’ll still believe that you lack appreciation for them. As a result, you and your partner will become more distant or disconnected. In order to give each other the emotional cues you need to feel loved, you need to make time for each other no matter how busy your lives get.
Recreate the fun of your first year of dating
As the months and years pass, we fall into a rut and become complacent in our marriage. We lose our ability to be patient, kind, considerate, and understanding toward our spouse. Make a list of all the things you used to do for your partner in the first year of your relationship. Now, get back to doing them.
Practice active listening
Even though our culture places a lot of emphasis on talking, it is possible to build a stronger relationship with someone by learning to listen in a way that makes them feel valued and understood.
Listening in this manner versus hearing only is a significant distinction. Listening to your partner’s tone of voice can tell you a lot about how they’re feeling and what they’re trying to get across if you pay attention to it. You don’t have to agree with your partner or change your mind to be a good listener. It can, however, assist you in identifying common ground on which to work toward a solution to a disagreement.
Request what you want
Because our partner has become familiar with us, we begin to believe that we don’t need to express our desires. What happens if we proceed on the basis of this premise? As soon as expectations are set, they are quickly deflated. Those expectations that aren’t met can cause us to question the viability of our relationship. Remember that “asking for what you want” includes your emotional as well as your sexual desires.
Learn everything you can about your partner
It’s a good idea to get to know your mate on a physical and emotional level. Instead of listening to what they really want, we can get caught up in what we think they want. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to understand why something is important to your partner. It’s up to you to take action.
Check in with each other weekly
Regardless of length, it always begins with an exchange of feedback on the previous week’s successes and failures, as well as suggestions for how to make things better in the coming week. Also, take advantage of this time to discuss your future plans, plan a date night, and talk about what you hope to accomplish in your relationship over the next few days, weeks, and months. Unmet needs and resentments can build if you don’t schedule a time to take a temperature check.
Spending time together doesn’t have to be boring
Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and see how a little bit of novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. ‘ Can’t afford to spend a lot of money? You’ll be amazed at how many “cheap date ideas” you can find on the internet. If you can’t afford a babysitter, what are your options? Try babysitting each other’s children in exchange for time off from work. When they drop their kids off at your house, they’ll be happy to do so because they’ll be able to get a break.
Let’s go for it
Kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc are essential components of a romantic relationship. If you and your partner have different ideas about how much physical intemacy a couple should have, it’s important to talk about it so that you can avoid a discrepancy. For the most part, it’s common for people to “get there” after the first few minutes of a relationship, even if they weren’t initially in the mood.
Go on vacations regularly
Distractions in our personal and professional lives can overwhelm us, leaving us with little time or energy to spend with our loved ones. Develop the skill of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that when we’re with our partner, we’re fully present, barring any emergencies or deadlines. We pay attention to what they have to say (rather than just pretending to), we put down our devices, and we don’t return to them until the sun comes up and we’re on our way out the door.
Have a strong emotional bond
Love and emotional fulfilment come from each of you making the other feel cared for. Being loved is one thing, but feeling loved is quite another. Having a partner who truly understands and accepts you is a wonderful feeling. If a couple isn’t emotionally connected to each other, they may find themselves in a peaceful coexistence. Even if the relationship appears stable on the surface, the absence of ongoing involvement and emotional connection only serves to further separate the two people involved in the relationship.
Disagreement should not frighten you
While some couples prefer to work things out in a low-key manner, others may disagree passionately. It is essential, however, to not be afraid of conflict in order to maintain a healthy relationship. In order for you to be able to express yourself without fear of retaliation, and to resolve conflict without humiliation, degrading or insisting that you are right, you need to feel safe to do so.
Maintain relationships and pursuits outside
Romantic fiction and movies often make the claim that a single person can fulfil all of your needs. Putting too much pressure on a relationship by expecting too much from your partner can be harmful. Maintaining a sense of self-identity outside of a romantic relationship, keeping in touch with close family and friends, and engaging in hobbies and interests are all essential components of a healthy romantic relationship.
Seek to comprehend rather than to agree
The concept is simple, but putting it into practise can be challenging. When we want to hear our partner admit that we were right or change their opinion, our conversations quickly turn into arguments. Refrain from waiting for your significant other to give in and instead use the conversation as an opportunity to better understand their point of view. As a result, we are able to have a fruitful discussion without the risk of a meltdown or lingering anger.
Don’t forget to say you’re sorry
An apology is always appreciated. However, it has real meaning when you truly mean it. Saying “I’m sorry” is a waste of time and breath, especially when it comes to things like “I’m sorry if I upset you.” There is no way to argue with a feeling, no matter how strong it is.
Let your partner know you understand how he or she feels. Real apologies can have a big impact from here. You have the right to apologise to your partner if you hurt them (intentionally or not), regardless of your point of view on what you did or didn’t do.
Be prepared for a roller coaster of emotions
It’s important to remember that every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be times when you disagree. When one partner is dealing with a difficult situation, such as the death of a loved one, the relationship can suffer. Both partners can be affected by other events, such as a job loss or a serious illness, which can make it difficult to connect with one another. When it comes to finances and raising children, you may have a different perspective. Stress affects everyone differently, and misunderstandings can quickly escalate into resentment and hostility.