There are many people who believe that long-distance relationships are doomed to failure. If you’re worried about getting your heart broken, your family and close friends may discourage you from going through with it.
Nobody expects it to be easy because of the additional distance. At times, things may be difficult, and you may feel lonely and depressed.
Long-distance relationships can make the most trivial things even sweeter, such as being able to hold someone’s hand or sit next to each other at the same table for dinner, or smelling each other’s hair or taking a walk together.
Even though long-distance relationships can be difficult, they can also offer their own set of challenges. Here are some ways to keep your long-distance relationship going strong:
Table of Contents
Have Self-Belief in Your Personal Relationship
Insecurity can cause one partner to keep an eye on the other too frequently, which can strain the relationship. As a result, unnecessary tension can be caused by excessive phone and text messages being exchanged.
When couples talk constructively, they give each other a glimpse into their lives and the things that are important to them. As a result, the anxious partner will not be reassured, and the other partner will become irritated by the constant check-ins. When a couple is separated by distance, the frequency of communication must match the frequency of communication when both parties are at home. Ideally, it should be at a level that is mutually acceptable to both parties.
Focus on quality communication
Some research suggests that long-distance couples may actually be more satisfied with their communication than those who live close to each other. Take advantage of this. Compared to couples who live close to each other, long-distance couples are unable to communicate at a high volume, but they have the potential to outperform them when it comes to quality. Think about the most important aspects of your day to talk about in advance if you have regular bedtime conversations. Recognize the importance of careful word choice because you may not be able to express yourself through facial expression or physical touch. Prepare for the limitations of a phone call — or even a Skype session — so that you can say exactly what you mean to say, and nothing more. Thus, no matter how many states (or countries! ) separate you, the most crucial, intimacy-building conversations can still be had.
Stop delaying your life
Long-distance relationships necessitate some compromise. But it’s important to keep in mind that sacrificing too much can lead to feelings of resentment and regret in the long run. Risky when long-distance part of the relationship is supposed to last only a short time but unexpectedly needs to be extended longer because of deployment or employment difficulties or unexpected financial setbacks. Because they didn’t think it was worth it, one partner may have postponed or even avoided spending time cultivating friendships, interests, or hobbies in their area because they didn’t think it was worth it a few years later. In order to be truly committed to your life, you can’t wait until you’re in the same place as your significant other. Make sure you’re making the most of the time you have in the here and now, wherever you are in the world. Make sure you don’t “bother” to look for a sense of community or purpose in your life, and don’t isolate yourself at work. Make the most of every day, no matter how long your partner is away. What’s that? It will help speed up the time spent apart.
Let go of your doubts and rely on yourself
One of the most important factors in keeping a relationship going is trust, which we’ll get to later. When it comes to building and maintaining trust, you and your partner both have a role to play. It’s important to keep in mind that trust can be eroded in a variety of ways, not just in the context of a romantic affair. Your partner’s reliability depends on a variety of factors, including whether or not they show up when they say they will and whether or not they prioritise your needs over their own. Do they show up when they say they will, or do they constantly postpone dates because they are too busy at work? If each new conversation feels separate, as if they weren’t paying attention last time or if their mind is somewhere else entirely, do they remember what’s important to you and listen in ways that make you feel heard and understood? Of course, you can answer any of these questions for yourself. Are you being the kind of partner you deserve?
Keep bringing up the positive aspects of your partnership
Because you’re spending so much time apart, doubts, insecurities, and jealousy are common in long-distance relationships. therapists at Lasting recommend frequently reassuring one another with verbal statements. These feelings can be minimised and clarified as a couple with the help of these tools.
Tell your partner how much you love and appreciate their friendship. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re unsure of where you stand in life. As wonderful as it is to hear, “I love you and wish we could be together today,” is to say.
Stand up for each other’s goals
There will always be room for growth and change in a relationship, whether you’re together or apart. Even if your relationship changes a little as a result, that’s a good thing.
A secure attachment between long-distance couples enables them to allow each other to grow and mature. Maintaining contact and encouraging one another is a top priority for these two. Personal growth and change are encouraged in a secure attachment relationship. It’s a result of the relationship’s security and safety.
Supporting your partner as they develop their unique talents and interests is one of the best ways to build a secure attachment. The fact that her new volleyball practise is cutting into your nightly catch-up time is understandable—but encouraging her to pursue her passion is just as important for you as it is for her.
While you’re apart, find a way to get together
Studies show that the healthiest type of relationship for marriage is an interdependent one. How do you explain it? As a result, you and your partner are able to carry out tasks together while maintaining your distinct personalities. It’s likely that you’ll have to do more things on your own than you’d prefer because of your long-distance situation, which is why it’s so important to identify a few activities that you can do remotely but together.
Lasting, reading the same book, streaming the same show while talking to your phone or playing a game online while listening to a similar playlist or even eating at the same chain restaurant on the same night can all help you and your loved ones stay connected.
Recognizing the rationale for separating
A couple’s relationship can be based on a variety of factors, including work, school, money, family, and so on. It’s important to respect the reason that you and your partner are together. Making your partner feel guilty about not living close by isn’t a productive use of your time if you don’t have much control over where you live. Because they’re in the beginning stages of a relationship, some couples find themselves apart. Respecting the reasons for remaining a part is critical in these situations. In the beginning of a relationship, you don’t want your partner to feel rushed to move to your city or to be comfortable with you moving to their city. Make the most of your time apart by embracing creative ways to communicate and maintain (or grow) your connection, even if you’re not together at the moment. Remind yourself of the decision you and your partner made together to be in a long-distance relationship. Knowing that long distance isn’t an indefinite part of a relationship can help you focus on maintaining your connection even when you aren’t together in person. Even though it will be difficult, try to focus on the positive rather than dwell on the fact that you are no longer together.
Indulging in your personal life
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it’s important to maintain some degree of independence. On Friday nights, it’s perfectly acceptable to spend the evening with your friends rather than on the phone with your long-distance partner. Though it may seem counterintuitive, prioritising your own needs over those of your partner is essential, and this may necessitate some face-to-face interaction rather than relying solely on the phone. Even if you’re thousands of miles away from your loved one, it’s important to maintain a normal life. Spending time with friends and family and trying new things helps you maintain a sense of self-identity that is distinct from your romantic relationship. Even though it can be difficult to try new things or meet new people when your partner isn’t around, you must do so on your own and encourage your partner to do the same.
A long-distance relationship can provide a great deal of freedom and independence that some people come to appreciate. Keep learning and growing as an individual while you’re apart by taking up a new hobby or trying something new. A great way to keep yourself distracted from the long distance is to get together with friends and go on fun outings. You can avoid feelings of resentment for a partner if you enjoy your personal life. Though it may appear to be an extreme sentiment at first glance, think about it! You may begin to resent your long-distance partner and the relationship if you are unable to spend time with friends or meet new people because you are tethered to your phone. Establishing boundaries early on in a long-distance relationship will help you and your partner adjust to the independence that comes with it.
Make the most of the benefits of long-distance relationships
There is nothing positive about being apart from the person you are infatuated with. If your circumstances can’t be changed right away, at least you have the power to alter your attitude.
Consider the positive aspects of your long-distance relationship, despite how frustrating it may be to be apart. How much more time do you have to pursue your interests, such as working out or spending time with loved ones? Keep track of the positive aspects of long-distance relationships and focus on them during the most difficult days.
Avoid talking too much
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You don’t have to be in constant contact 24 hours a day to maintain a healthy relationship. Many couples believe that they must do more to make up for the distance. This isn’t accurate. Worse, it could exacerbate the current situation. You’d soon grow tired of the word “loving.”
Remember that less is more. Not spamming — you’ll just burn out. Teasing and tugging at just the right places is really all that matters.
Make the most of it
It’s a great opportunity for you and your partner to grow together. Consider it a test of your commitment to one another. “Real gold does not fear the test of fire,” as the Chinese proverb says. As opposed to assuming that this long-distance relationship is separating the two of you, you should instead believe that it will strengthen your bond.
Manage your expectations by setting some ground rules
During this long-distance relationship, both of you must be clear about what you expect of each other. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.
Are you two, for example, an exclusive pair? Does the other person feel comfortable going on dates? What is your level of dedication? Be honest with each other about all of this information.
The more you talk, the better you’ll be at it
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to keep your partner up to date on what’s going on in your life, no matter how trivial it may appear.
Send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time in order to keep things fresh and interesting. You make the other person feel loved and cared for by putting in this much effort.
Stay away from “dangerous” situations
It’s best to avoid going to a club or drinking with your friends late at night if you know it will annoy your partner if you don’t tell him or her about it in advance. Don’t put your partner in a position where he or she feels powerless or out of control by being careless with this kind of issue.
If you’ve been flirting with a girl or guy from your past, it’s possible that you’ve set up a trap for yourself by “hanging out” with them after work or going out with them. You need to be aware of the potential dangers before you get involved.
Don’t rely solely on your intuition. Pay attention to the thoughts that go through your head.
Do things together
Play a video game online with your friends. At the same time, watch a documentary online. Sing to each other while one of you plays the guitar online on video. Take a walk outside and video-call each other at the same time purchase gifts for one another while you’re shopping together on the internet. To each other, share what you’ve been reading, watching or listening to with others. Having a broader range of conversation starters opens up as a result of engaging in similar forms of media.
Even though you’re living apart, this is a good way to have some shared experiences.
Visit each other on a regular basis
Every long-distance relationship’s highlight is a trip to see each other face-to-face. In the long-distance relationship, you finally get to meet each other and fulfil all the little things that are common to other couples but extra intimate for people in long-distance relationships, such as kissing, holding hands, etc.
Get clear on what you’re trying to accomplish
“At the end of the day, what do we hope to accomplish?” When will we see each other again? Is there anything you’d like to add? These are the questions that you and your partner should be asking yourself. A long-distance relationship can’t last indefinitely. We all eventually have to settle in.
So work out a strategy together. Make a timeline with estimated times apart and times together, and a goal at the end of the timeline. If you and your partner are not on the same page, you will not be able to achieve your goals. So that even if you’re not in the same location and time zone, you’re still motivated to work together toward a future that includes each other.
Make the most of both your time alone and with your loved ones
You’re on your own, but you don’t have to feel lonely if you don’t want to. Even if you’re in a relationship, you can still have a life outside of it. Take advantage of this time off to spend more time with your loved ones. Increase your workout frequency. Get a new pastime. Watch a lot of television in one sitting. Plenty of things you can do on your own are available to you.
Stay open and honest with one another
Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings about anything that is on your mind. A secret that you try to keep from your partner will eventually consume you from the inside out. Don’t take matters into your own hands. As a group, be honest and open with one another. Take advantage of your partner’s support and assistance. It’s preferable to investigate the issue at its infancy rather than wait until it’s too late.
Be aware of each other’s schedules and plan accordingly
You can send a text or make a phone call when the other person isn’t busy, which helps you avoid interrupting their day. To interrupt your partner while he/she is in the middle of a class or business meeting would be rude and inconsiderate. Know what’s going on in each other’s lives, from college midterms and exams to important business trips and meetings to job interviews and etc. When you live in different time zones, this is especially important.
Each other’s social media activity should be monitored
On Facebook and Instagram, like each other’s photos. Twitter each other. Let’s do this. On each other’s walls, post things you like. Demonstrate your concern. Be cool with each other’s stalking.
When giving a gift, give the recipient something they can hold on to
Memorabilia can have a powerful effect. There is something for everyone, be it a tiny pendant, ring, keychain, collection of music or video clips… even a perfume bottle. Whether we realise it or not, we assign meaning to the small things and items that we come across in our daily lives. All of us do this, hoping that if our memory fails us, we can look at or hold onto something that will trigger a recollection of the event. When a person sees something as simple as this, it can mean a lot to them, even if others don’t see it as much of an accomplishment.
Invest in a quality texting app
The fact that texting is the primary mode of communication between the two of you is critical. In order to communicate with others, you need a messaging app that goes beyond the simple exchange of words and emoticons.
Send your gift by mail
Send each other cards and love letters in the mail. Every now and then, we’ll send each other gifts from across the world. Birthday, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day are all good reasons to send flowers. Surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and other sexy things you can buy online.
Stay upbeat
To keep a long-distance relationship alive, you must constantly inject it with positive energy. In spite of the pain and loneliness, remember that the fruits of your labour will be as sweet as heaven at the end.
When it comes to staying positive, it’s important to remember to be thankful all the time. Enjoy the fact that you have a partner to love and be loved in return. Be grateful for the little things, such as the handwritten letter you received the other day in good condition. Rejoice in each other’s well-being.
When you have the opportunity, use a video call
Seeing each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can restore a sense of calm in even the most stressful of situations.